South Park’ recap: Crack Baby Athletic Association

This week’s episode of South Park begins with Stan and Kyle watching Terrance and Phillip. Eventually, a depressing Sarah McLachlan commercial featuring the plight of crack babies airs. Kyle is especially moved and decides to help the crack babies by volunteering.
Kyle knows something is going on when he sees Eric at the hospital. Eric is the most evil kid in the world, after all — what does he care about crack babies? Therefore, Kyle follows Eric instead of helping the crack babies. He then learns the awful truth about the CBAA, the Crack Baby Athletic Association.
Clyde, Craig, Butters, and Eric are the founders of the CBAA, and they are determined to enlist Kyle as their bookkeeper. Eric explains the goals of the organization while Butters delivers a marvelous rendition of “Boom Boom Pow.” Because the CBAA is cash positive, Kyle decides to join.
After a discussion with Stan, Kyle approaches Eric and asks him how he plans to help the crack babies. Eric says he cannot pay the crack babies because it is against policy, and he shows Kyle that he is spending the money on a hot tub full of KFC gravy. He also assures Kyle that he will investigate the matter and find out how the people at the University of Colorado at Boulder get away with not paying their student athletes.
Eric gets dismissed by the head of CU-Boulder because of his antics. Despite Eric’s failure to find answers, Kyle thought of a new way to convince the government that they were a nonprofit organization. He wants to use 30% of the profits to build an orphanage for the crack babies. Eric loves the idea and claims that it will gain them $1,000,000 worth of favor with the public.
Meanwhile, Clyde and Craig need to find Slash so that he can play at the event EA Sports is sponsoring. Clyde calls his parents when he cannot find Slash and they explain that Slash is make-believe. He is actually based on the Dutch legend of the Vünter Slauche.
The episode ends with the boys learning that EA Sports has collected all of their profits. Eric is too depressed to care; he just can’t believe that Slash isn’t real. He also can’t accept the fact that someone he knew pretended to be Slash during his eighth birthday party.
Kyle and Stan leave the EA Sports building and come upon an orphanage. Kyle’s dream of a crack baby orphanage ultimately came true, and inside the building, he discovered Slash’s signature hat and guitar. Is there any truth to the Vünter Slauche? Who knows?